photos from kimmy's 21st birthday!


the 7th cycle smp people of the party! kim's cake is yummilicious! and allan is a sweetie because he drove me to the busstop after the party =)


pretty kim and me!

i was looking at kim's party photos with dar and we found out by chance that kim's dear is a senior of dar's! from tj track one! the world very small! =)

*_*

dar is sho sweet to me.

i had planned for a squash session at the src on friday morning, but i was feeling so horrid from my fever that i couldn't even drag myself out of my bed. my fever soared to a scary point of 39.2 degrees at around 6am on friday morning and i slept fitfully previously throughout the night.

upon realising my pathetic state of health, dar skipped his comp health lecture to bring me to the yih school clinic. actually he had wanted to rush down in the middle of the night to take care of me, but i forbade him to do that so he was guai for the night. mah dearie =)

so at the clinic, the nurse noted my too-high temperature and gave me a mask to wear. a freaking mask! so malu-ating can! hehe. i was also poked mercilessly for my blood test. i thank God that dar was there for me throughout the whole doctor-seeking process, i think i was almost half delirious, totally incapable of making my way around the clinic for my blood test and lab analysis etc. *bao!

dar wanted me to stay over at his place so that he could take better care of me so i did. the poor boy had to sleep on the floor x.x sorry dar! i must say dar did a wonderful job, i only had to toss around in his bed or sound uncomfortable and he would spring up by my side and enquire about my condition. i was quite sure that he didn't sleep throughout the night, sighs, what a silly and endearing boy...

went for a damn good run with lisze, her bf and her friend just now before dinner.

i run around in school quite frequently, there's nothing much to do in hall at night actually, heh. i'll start from eusoff carpark, via central library, all the way til science and u-turn back to eusoff again.


my usual route

my usual route is only good at night, in the evening there would be too many people at the busstops. so we tried to take the a1/2 bus route, but we took a wrong turn after pgp and ended up cutting through king edward's to central library instead. major boo boo >_<" but it was a really good jog, having friends to jog with really helped in pushing myself. besides, i was wearing dar's shirt during the jog, so cannot let dar down, must pia! hehe ;p lisze's stamina was real good, but i'm proud to say that i didn't stop for any rests throughout the run too. we rock! =D


our boo boo route

***

sighs. i felt really terrible after the run, i was feeling cold and aching everywhere so i went to measure my temperature, and got a mini shock.

38.3º! fever!

i just hope it's not a case of dengue. so far, my block has 3 reported cases of dengue! now they fog the hall every morning, but i still get mosquito bites -_-"

***

Eusoff Hall
National University of Singapore

N O T I C E

19 October 2005

Important - Dengue Alert

We are currently having a dengue situation in Eusoff Hall. Residents are advised to:
1) seek medical attention immediately if you have high fever or aches. Please do not wait.
2) take the necessary precaution against mosquito bites.

We appreciate your immediate attention in this matter.

EUSOFF HALL GENERAL OFFICE

argh. japanese tutorials are shiet.

in lieu of 1st nov's deepavali and 3rd nov's hari raya puasa, most lectures and tutorials have been either cancelled or postponed for make-ups, which means that i have no social v and gen bio lectures on wednesday. but i still have to attend japanese TB from 4pm-6pm! arghz! no consecutive 3-day holiday for me!

i have a 5-day week schedule, i haven't gotten any decent no-school holiday (okie, except for the self-declared ones) for a looong time! *bawls!

the term exams are in a month's time, i need to chew my gen bio and landscapes readings really soon. after which i'll wash them down with social v and sem&prag. plus a jap lv2 dessert.

bah i'm getting lame -_-"

***

so i haven't had a decent day of shopping for ages. even when i attend the birthday parties of my friends, it seems like it's like just go-give-present-say-happy-birthday-eat-abit-sing-birthday-song-eat-cake-byebye-hope-you-have-fun kind. where's the joy? ~_~

enen likes my raffy, she crawled to my bag to steal raffy =D and she is looking more like a girl now!


my adorable 10 month-old niece!


*


i promised kim that i would turn up for her 21st birthday party on saturday night, so i did, though i arrived pretty late because i had to attend church service. it was a nice party, then i realised that kim and i had quite some common friends hehe. the cake was ultra yummilicious, i wonder where she bought it! i think she's rather angry with the rest of the smp gang because only i turned up, i pray that all disputes will be resolved soon, sighs. the smp bond is just too precious to lose!


*


dearie dar, no more forwarding of pay to get me presents ok? i'm more than willing to go through thick and thin with you, i'll be very very happy to have with you beside me as we work hard together for our future =)

i must be mad.

dar and i were bumming around in plaza singapura just now, faced with the tricky task of deciding where to eat. i suspect it was the situation where i wanted to eat what he liked and he wanted to eat what i liked, so we couldn't really come to a conclusion. tee hee hee ;p

i originally wanted fish n co, but the glass house queue was too much for two hungry souls, so we had to look for alternatives. we had almost decided on long john's silvers before dar came up with his kfc dare.

"BB, want to share a kfc family feast?"

fyi, a kfc family is a big deal. 8 pieces of chicken, 8 pieces of spicy drumlets, 1 med coleslaw, 1 med whipped potato and 4 fountain drinks.

i agreed, for the fun of it. apparently dar and ben does this sometimes too hehe.

wah rau eh! i'm a charboh, how to eat so much! ;p

hehe but it was really fun, though i don't want to know what the people at the other tables were thinking of us. dar picked the less-meaty parts for me, ie the wing and drum, so it wasn't all too bad. i actually finished a sizeable 4 less-meaty parts and 2 drumlets.

now i am really in serious danger of getting fat lah! T_T


*


happy birthday shereen! my dearie spiritual mama!

almost died of fright yesterday.

this week has been horrid, with me being swamped by my social v project paper, sem&prag project presentation, jap lang skit and landscape project paper, while dar was barely surviving his own share of projects. and this dar of mine is so silly, he did my share of our sem&prag presentation so that i could have a bit more sleep.

i asked God for somebody who could help me with my studies, not do for me lah -___-"

but dar is really very sweet to me *_*

so i guess we were both really quite tired. at least i have the luxury of staying in hall, so i don't have to beat the morning rush-hour traffic, poor dar has been reaching school at 8am in the morning daily for his project meetings etc. i could see that dar was really quite conked out after our sem&prag discussion today. *xin-teng*

i had to extend tracy's tuition because she was having difficulties with some of her problem sums, so i was prepared to cab down to hougang so that i could be in time for my primary three science class. what i didn't expect was for dar to be actually waiting for me to pass me dinner (my favourite ebi rice burger too T_T).

but stupid me had already hopped onto a cab and was on my way to hougang when i realised that dar was waiting for me.

and the worse thing was my pea-brain did not register that i could have actually asked the taxi-uncle to turn back to eastpoint green and get my dinner from dar. all i thought of was to ask the uncle to wait at the next bus-stop while dar walked over or something, but there was an impending bus so the uncle had to drive off. i seriously didn't think of turning back, still can't believe that i can actually be that blur -_-" i think i must have disappointed dar real bad, and he didn't reply my sms.

wah rau i almost died of fright. i've never seen dar angry before!

so it turned out later that dar wasn't angry with me, said he wasn't supposed to be there in the first place and that he didn't know why he got irritated with me. but it was obviously my fault, i should have called him right after tuition, i was supposed to in the first place.

this kind of boyfriend where to find? *_*

darrell quek! do you know how much you mean to me? =D

*

anyways i sped down bugis to meet the smp gang for joanna's 21st birthday dinner. had lots of fun catching up with the the mad bunch, yat and ding were as entertaining as ever, hee.

we got her a levi's voucher for her present, hope she'll have fun choosing her first pair of levi's. which in turn brings me to whine that i still haven't gotten my first pair of levi's yet, and it's been 4 months since my 21st birthday! so my dearie joanna, you are effectively "luckier" than me! ;p

dar is mah godsent!!! =D

i was really sad from last night's happenings, and he gave me such a nice morning surprise today. i woke up around 7+am (i always wake up around such timings but will continue to nua until my alarm beeps ;p) and at around 8am, i heard the rustling of plastic bags outside my door. i was thinking to myself that the cleaning aunty should be washing the level one toilets at this timing, then thoughts of dar suddenly popped into my brain so i jumped out of bed and ran to peep through the peep-hole. lo and behold it was really dar lah! my heart skipped many beats and i was frantically trying to unlock and unlatch the damned door at the same time.

***

mac hotcakes and meiji milk!

plus a sweaty morning dar-hug!

i'm so happy, i can't help prancing around!~ *skips

***

i do so adore mac hotcakes! xD~ and meiji milk! *_* heavenly bliss!!!

dar wanted the milk to be cold for me, so he filled his gigantic protein powder bottle with icy water and stuffed the milk inside. ingenious lah! *bao! though he must really have looked silly on the train and bus ride from bedok. from BEDOK leh!!! i live on campus in CLEMENTI lah!!!

what more can this little girl ask for? i'm easily contented, buy me ice-cream and i'll fly to the moon le, but dar makes me dance around the galaxy! =D

i'm silently cursing myself as i type this because i didn't bring my konica-minolta to hall -___-" i want to capture this sweetness eternally so that i can remember every gesture from mah godsent. i didn't grow up in a happy family, i want to let my children know how fantastic their daddy was to their mummy and give them all i can so that they'll never ever have to suffer what i did.

i'm so so so blessed. i don't know what i have done to deserve such a dedicated baby. mah dearie godsent. BIG HEART!!! God must really love me awfully alot, praise the Lord!

*scuttling off to donate my pint of blood at the src. i hope i don't faint again like the previous time hehehe. got extra sweet hotcakes and great love, won't faint one right? ;p

happy 1 week dar! *beams!

i wanted to do something sweet for dar yesterday but i blabbed it out by accident and he forbade me to do it. me and my big mouth. sighs. bad bad dar! *fumes ;p

*

sang this during praise and worship in church service yesterday, and i like the lyrics very much =)

goes something like this:

you are forever in my life,
you see me through the seasons,
cover me with your hand,
(i forgot the next line)

i'll sing to you Lord,
a hymn of love of your faithfulness to me,
i'm carried in everlasting arms,
you'll never let me go through it all.

sweet eh? praise our Lord =)

went to town with dar after our pragmatics lecture and project discussion. going anywhere with dar makes me happy =) i bought an op skirt to match the top dar got me from adidas, will embark on picture whoring as soon as i get my camera to hall hee.

ping told me that i have to bring someone else to all the places that ww and i had been before to layer over the memories. i kind of feel some truth in that, i had layered ww over the past also. the memories are precious and will remain etched in the heart, but the present is what i'm looking forward to, a beautiful future to hold together, if everything works out well =)

dar sent me home and since there wasn't anybody at home, he came in to see the condition of the sty i was residing in. my home room is a 100 times messier than my hall room, because i share it with my sister, and i don't really bother to clear up after her, heh. he saw the stuff ww gave me, i knew he would brood over it, silly dar. sighs. believe in me, i really meant what i said in the smses ok? *hugs!

*

justin's mummy, you are such a irritating mother! why do you have to kick such a huge fuss whenever you make payment? i'm just a lowly-paid tutor, it's not within my responsibility to deal with administrative matters pertaining to your son's tuition! your son is smart, he is able to grasp most of the things i teach, sometimes i even think that he doesn't need tuition, you are just being overly kiasu! compare the respectful treatment i get from peiyu's daddy, you are just being freaking MEAN to me! my primary 2 english/mathematics class never gave me such problems, why must my primary 3 english/mathematics class give me so hell! bah!

i'm sick of the dumb rc, demanding parents and the lousy administration. i'm underpaid and overworked. hate this shiet-hole! T_T tracy has always been a joy to teach, which explains why i'm willing to travel to simei for the past 1 year to guide her through her primary 5 and psle. i should have never dropped scott too, he was a total dearie, though that time i wanted more time to play pristontale with ww ._.

i don't play pristontale anymore, it's too painful, like what kawaii says.

kawaii msn-ed me the other day, and he was sharing with me his problems, he was also going through a bad patch in life. his previous girlfriend of 6 years left, and now the new one left too. kawaii's not exactly too young, he's in his thirties already. sighs. he's not exactly in the pink of health either. i really wish from the bottom of my heart that he'll be happy ba, i don't know what else i cant do, he's so far away. it's so comforting to know that he reads my blog, even though he's not exactly very proficient in english, he makes the effort to speak to me in english on msn. really appreciate lor. i read his blog too, but sometimes i really want to bang my head on the wall because traditional chinese is just so hard sometimes! i bet he feels the same way about my posts too! tee hee ;p

bryan's probably the only singaporean who tries out of his way to reach out to the taiwanese people in the virtual world of pristontale. before bryan and gang joined the pt2, it was largely just minding our own singaporean business and the occassional bonding with the hongkongers. i needed items from the hongkong clan anyways heh. its interesting how long distance friendship can be forged in a online gaming community. and singaporean friendship too =)

*

i suddenly feel this sense of nolstagia.

i miss the old days of building up of our newbie characters with kav-dead, dino, ling and dawn, i remember our silly outings for pool and movie together, and how ling always had to leave early because she was under juvenile probation detention.

i miss the hard-core levelling and drop-hunting with the nua clan with sharkie, noob, mr and mrs moon, even ning, recca and kabale, despite our disputes. we stormed d4 hell spawns together, protected one another, pooled in our resources and helped one another in terms of armour and weapons, and screwed noobs who were fucking around with us. how devasted all of us were when ww, noob and my account got hacked in 2004. how we tried to recover our friendship by starting anew in pt2 but failed miserably because noob, mr and mrs moon moved on to roseon and shark remained in pristontale for a while.

our clan channel and all the discussions we had in it after chionging dungeon3. all our strategies, with shark incharge of shooting webs, me incharge of mass divine-lightning the monster mobs, ww, noob and kabale tanking, with occasional help from charmer and various other friends in our favourite corner spot in u3. ww screwing anyone who failed to tank properly and cause me a screaming death. ww screwing anybody who failed to do their job properly and cause all of us panic when too many illusion knights, mummies and king hoppies pwned us all. all our blasphemies when something really good dropped, only to realise it was ns or had ata spec.

i miss my priestess clan, the influential sister-act with all its old-school players of lilise, moskipi, marvelous etc. how i was proudly considered one of the old-school priestess who levelled without rock dl-ing and monkey lurers. how i was one of the pioneer priestesses to own +5 perfect spec faith wand, complete with +6 royal robe in ept. my archer's +5 titan bow in ept. how other newbie priestesses liked me because i always gave away good items to fellow priestesses for free and helped them financially. my arc wand and celestial robe in pt2.

how ww and i were widely known by all in pristontale as the game couple who were deeply in love. mr and mrs moon were never as high-profiled as us. how ww, the strong knight in shining armour, protected me, the weak priestess. how ww bought virutal pt gold or items with real money to equip my silly priestess, how ww would put on hold buying his armour to make sure that my priestess had the best he could afford. how we always quarrelled because i died due to some folly and ww would start berating me for wasting time and being stubbornly stupid to save on mana pots. how we quarrelled when ww didn't like some people and he would say i was a hypocrite while it was just me to be nice to peeps around me, no matter how mean they were. i called it tact, he thought otherwise. how i was afraid that ww had traits of my daddy in him, though he poo-ed it off. my geminian trait of displaying childish temperaments was too much for his harmony-loving librian nature to bear.

if i ever play it would only be fooling around my free account, but i'll never be able to sell away my level 7x ept priestess, stArstAr, she means too much for me. same goes for my pt2 priestess.

i need to read psalms tonight.

i love my dd to tiny weeny bits! =D

*taken on the bus ride to jurong point..


the tongues


the pout and the tongue


1-2 smile!

we very monkey! =D

i hate wednesdays, i have back-to-back lessons from 10-6pm without any breaks. and i'm not exactly feeling well because my throat seems a little sore. shall drink lotsa water and fruit juice today and hope nothing develops from it because i can't afford to be sick in this project-crunch week!

joanna looked sad just now during social variations lecture. i think its either because josh cannot celebrate her 21st birthday with her, or she's ultra stressed by her 6 modules. didn't manage to give her a hug, i'll hug her online when i see her!

*

i pushed tracy's tuition to wednesday night because i wanted tuesday to be a special dar-day =D

i was doing my work in hall, waiting for dar's lit style tutorial to end at 4pm. then it was off to jurong point for some shopping and dinner. i guess jurong point must have contained quite some happy memories for him and julynn, her being in ntu and all. but dar didn't mention anything, he was just being sweet to me in his own way *_*

first fast-food meal together, and it was at my favourite mos burger. i'm a sucker for MOS BURGER MILK TEA hahaha. and EBI RICE BURGER hahahahaha. not to mention heavenly, soft, yummilicious MOS FRIES muahahaha. used to carry big bags when i watched movies so that i could smuggle milk tea into cinemas, tee hee. i kind of eat little usually, i can never finish a mos burger meal, i always have to share my fries at least. but dar ordered a meal for me and he wanted to feed me til i finished the whole pack of fries. i feel like a pEEEg! at this rate i'm consuming food, i will put back the 8kg i lost in NO TIME! *faints

we went back to hall later for some studying, dar surprised me when he sang tong hua. i have always thought he was quite kan-tang, then i realise i think he believes in his chinese roots as well. a quality that yours truly firmly believes in too, that in all my kan-tang-ness, i love my chinese roots =D

i was afraid that he would be hungry so i suggested prata for supper. the bestest thing about staying in eusoff is that supper is never too far away hehe. hail, FONG SENG! i think i was damn mean lah, making him go for supper in his ultra bright yellow combination and lok cok hair, muahaha ;p luckily we didn't any of his friends, heh.

it was probably going to be the only night dar would accompany me, (eh joanna don't ahem, we very guai one ok haha), we were just talking and dar said he ren-ding me le. *faints! i couldn't sleep, i was just looking at him sleep, feeling extremely blessed.

i had some quiet time with God, and i prayed a prayer for my darling while he was sleeping. we promised to never let religion affect us, but God has been so good to me, i hope he can touch dar's life the same way he touched mine *_*

yesterday, i said many sorries to friends whom i worried over the weekend. sorry, especially to darkie kor, joanna, darryl, jensie and jingyu. i'm so blessed to have you peeps around by my side, i thank God for sending these angels to comfort me during this difficult period of my life.


*


i just want to tell myself that DARREL QUEK LYE MONG is my godsent, i will treasure this precious dar i have, be good and faithful and never let him down, ever *_*


*


dar went to gym earlier so that he could meet me for lunch, so very sweet right, but bad me made him skip his lunch because i wasn't feeling hungry. tsk tsk, shan't do that again ;p so we were just bumming about in the chat point in the library drinking our fruit juices. later i sent him to his discourse tutorial, and i was kinda shocked that joanna was the same tutorial class as him. i mean, my two best friends in nus, and jo takes discourse while nitz takes literary stylistics with him. and nitz is his project groupmate somemore. coincidence or what?! hehe..


*


i know all my friends are worried about me being on the rebound and that i may do things to hurt darrell, but i think i have thought it over quite carefully, i'm approaching into this new relationship slowly but surely, and i sincerely hope something beautiful comes out from it, because darrell dardar is such a wonderful person to be with. i think i'm very blessed to have met somebody so understanding, sensitive, patient and special, i really can see a future in this. thank you Lord, for bringing him into my life, thank you so much for making me go to school that friday morning, which marked the fresh start of my new found happiness.


*


maybe i felt that i owed ww too much, he was always so good to me, i had to repay him in my way and kept begging him to take me back so that i could show him what i could do to repay him. i honestly know ww put in a hell lot for our relationship, i ran off with sx because i couldn't see his future for me but he showed me that he was willing to change and wait for me. i honestly know that that march-april must have been hell for him, like august-september was hell for me, though the situation may be different in some sense. but eventually when we got back together again, i didn't make him feel that i had gone back to him totally, and he got tired of trying so hard. so by wanting to go away, he is sort of indirectly saying that i don't owe him anything else anymore, and that's something i can accept, finally, after 1+ month of doing crazy stuff.

the other straw came when i realised that my cousin ping and his girlfriend of 10 freaking years actually had split up. xiaopei is quite a figure in the business society of singapore now, i keep seeing her interviews in magazines and newspapers. i have looked up upon them since i was a 10 year old kid, they were 14 then and they were so deeply in love for 10 years, with flawless records of any unfaithfulness or any problems too difficult to solve. i remember sneaking up to ping's drawer in granny's house to reveal xiaopei's photos to my younger cousins, seeing them pay their respects to granny together every year during chinese new year, all the prep talks ping gave me when i was a silly secondary schoolgirl about bgr and choosing the right kind of guys, it was just so overwhelming, the shock of knowing their separation. they even got their flat last year, the pinnacle at duxton (heh, cousin sandy's company designed it, cool eh ;p), i don't know what's going to happen to it. if my cousin can let go, i was thinking that maybe i could and i should actually let go. so i let go already..

I'm so ronery by Kim Jong II

I'm so ronery, so ronery
So ronery and sadry arone
Dere's no one
Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I woork rearry hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems rike no one takes me ser-ri-rous-reeeeeeee
And so I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me

There's nobody
I can rerate to
Feel rike a bird in a cage
It's kinda sirry
But not rearry
Because it's firring my body with rage

I'm the smartest most clever most physically fit
but nobody else seems to rearize it
When I change the world maybe they'll notice meeeeeeeee
Until then I'll just be ronery
Yea ... Rittle ronery, poor rittle me
I'm so ronery



*



but i think i may have found somebody to keep me away from the loneliness le =)

was really upset over yesternight's phonecall and daddy's beating, i had the notion of suicide, not because of ww, but rather because my father hit me (i'm like black-and-blue all over -___-") and called me a prostitute. my own father. bah. i got so angry that i threw water at him. don't care if that makes me unfilial or what, i mean, wtf, he called his daughter a prostitute. wtf?! so i'm not talking to daddy for awhile we have cooled down.


*


anyways, i don't know what made me sms darrell this morning to ask him out, i had no idea where to go or what to do, i was just feeling shit-ified and needed somebody to talk to. and i just thought that darrell made me really happy yesterday, something that i haven't felt for this 1+ months, he was the first person i thought of, so i really felt like going out with him.

but seriously darrell was damn nice to me yesterday la, we never really talked during tutorials before, i don't know what made me so chatty yesterday as i poured out my woes to this tutorial-cum-project-groupmate during tutorial. i think benny lee knew we were chatting throughout the whole tutorial hehe, heck la :X during project discussion we were chatting again, he was telling me not to sms ww, only sms when really cannot tahan.. then he was being an idiot too, teasing melvyn and i about our similar tops and jackets (we were both in this green collared top and wearing the older version team nus sweater). i haven't eaten lunch in nus for eons, didn't have much appetite either, but i went to buy lunch with him and melvyn. later, i was half-hoping that he would turn up for lecture, but i didn't see ben and melvyn so i thought he wasn't coming, but he did turn up in the end and got me to sit beside him. quietly happy, tee hee hee =) i raided his wallet, giggled at his photograph in his identity card, while he eeked at my dirty wallet and showed me his collection of food discount cards. muahaha ;p

darrell was just listening, also sharing his own experiences, and he made me very happy, i don't know why. i mean, i had previously shared with darkie kor, jingyu, jensie and joanna, but i felt this happiness as i shared with him my problems, a feeling that i didn't feel when i was sharing with my close pals. i had been asking God for guidance to help me through this difficult rough patch in my life, and somehow i think God answered my prayers lar. thank you Father, you are so good to me =)

anyways he suggested east coast park, and i was kinda happy to agree, i mean i've been wanting to go to the beach for ages. really godsent eh? ;p while i was on a cab from shenton to ecp, aunty leehwa called and i burst into tears again. my family is just so close-knitted, any little sneeze will cause a tissue flurry ba. she made me promise to go to her place later in the evening for dinner which meant that i had to skip church service, quite bad of me >_<"

i was still tearing when i reached east coast park, must have put him in quite a spot, oops. he got both of us caramel apple ice-blendeds at coffee bean, which we both felt cheated of because it wasn't caffeinated, hee ;p later we walked along the coast and found ourselves a nice shelter to sit down at and chat somemore. he was just earnestly trying to cheer me up while i was basking in the comfort of a nice broad shoulder. then there was also his totally endearing though silly ideas of the seashell promise and my fcbc flag day sticker which was supposed to be a marker to remember that particular shelter we were at (later i realised he even remembered the number of the lamp-post near the shelter). such sweet simple bliss, i think i fell in love with him right then and there. hee ;p