dar..

the couple rings will expire tomorrow.

but not us =)

idoloveyou!

***

i complained about daddy's decision at granny's house today, in a bid to arouse qiqi's fighting spirit a little.

isn't it the same? that pekpek and gugu sacrifised their studies so that shushus can go uni. so let me try to put my sister through uni. please.

i'm glad dar can understand how i feel towards my sister. i don't need her to repay me in any form, all i want is for her to be happy. then i'll be happy.

***

i sigh a little when my friends complain about their parents not buying them their own cars etc. i had to beg for a chance to enter nus. otherwise, i would have been in nie now.

***

but...

i have this naggy feeling that i'll somehow fail this semester and then moe will withdraw my teaching contract.

*shudders*

it cannot happen, it must not happen. not when i need to put my sister through uni.

(f4)

was already not in the best of mood, so when my sister told me that daddy specifically wanted her to work first, i flipped.

so i ranted and hollered and went into the room and refused to talk to anyone else.

now the old ones are muttering outside.

i don't care.

i don't see why qiqi should be denied her chance at a bachelor's degree. mahmah gave me quite some money to help tie over my course fees. i know part of the money can go into her education, mahmah gave the money to me, i think i have the choice on what to do with the money. i'll take on more tuition if you don't want to spare the money, i won't ask for it.

i'm flipping mad. livid.

why are friendships so fragile?

interpersonal relationships are too difficult for me. i try to be nice to everybody, yet sometimes i get into trouble for a minor something.

to quote a close friend, sometimes i just wish to stay at home and play game and hide away from the rest of the world.

i wish i really could.

my buddy nitz writes beautifully.

she doesn't blog often, but her entries are always so heartstring-tugging. so much so that i got conned into believing it was her personal experience lol (remember the holland road burger king where the truth leaked :P)

anyways, to copy dearie joanna, i quote nitz too :P

***

Dear Boy,

What will it take for you to see how much you mean to her? Have you noticed the tears in her eyes, the tears she hides with her smile? She'd give the world for you, boy, but you choose only to see the mistakes she makes, the wrong things she might say, the flaws on her face. Why do all these things mean so much more to you, than the wonderful selfless things she's done for you? You've forgotten, boy, you've forgotten to be thankful, grateful and appreciative.

Look, boy, she isn't gonna be here forever cuz forever doesn't exist, though you seem to believe it does. What she feels for you now, now, that is real. But tomorrow, someone who appreciates her will come along and take her hand in his. Then, it'd be too late. So, think of all the things, big or small, she's done for you. And then think to see if you have done anything nice for her lately, anything at all. If it suddenly hits you, that what you've done for her is nothing compared to what she's done for you, the reason is really simple: she cares for you, maybe too much, it doesn't matter to her, but you, you just don't care at all, or at least not nearly enough.

If you're paying any attention, boy, I hope you know what you should do next: Grab her, i say, hold her, and tell her just how much you appreciate everything she's done for you. Better yet, Show her - show her you love her for the person she is, for caring so much, for her selfless acts of love and kindness; show her you care enough to do nice things for her too; just show her that she matters to you, though she may not mean to you as much as you mean to her.

You know, boy, it is not every day in our lives on this earth, that we come across special people: people who love us more than we can possibly love them, people who love us more than we love ourselves. These are the people who love us for who we are; they look past our mistakes and flaws, they forgive us so easily, it seems as though they've forgotten that we keep making the same mistakes again and again. They are the ones, boy, who always have a ready smile, hugs and kisses to lift us up when we're down. They are always so happy to see us, we can't help feeling good about ourselves too. Boy, you're so lucky, because she is all these and more. She's more than special and I don't know if you'll ever meet someone like her again. So, treasure what you have boy, and what you have, is a really special person whom you'll regret not caring for, if one day, she turns her back on you and leaves.

You know what the saddest thing is? Right now, no matter whether you love her in return, or show her any appreciation, she'll still be by your side. Her ever-ready smile and sweet words will always be there, for you. But, even she doesn't know that one day, when someone who loves her more than she loves you, comes along, she will go, leave you, for him. And you know, that she does deserve that happiness. Because for how long can she love and serve you silently, without receiving reciprocation of any sort? For how long, boy, for how long?

Boy, it is really not too late. Her heart is still in your hands, and will be, for some time. Act while you can, trust me. She needs no fancy gifts or expensive dinners and you know that. All that you have to do, is be nice, be appreciative: words of thanks and bright, sincere smiles when you see her - those are more than enough. Those will keep her happy for a long long time, believe me.

If you can appreciate her love for you, someday soon, please learn to love her in return, for there's no greater joy in the world than being loved more than you love. That's a sacrifice she's willing to make, because she knows, she knows she loves and will always love you far more than you can ever love her. That's what makes her so special, so beautiful, don't you think? It's all up to you, boy. You decide, but remember, time is not necessarily on your side, or hers.

God bless!

Regards,
Someone who cares. About you.

***

sweet eh?

i know it's addressing a guy, but i'll switch the gender around in my case.

this lovely entry reminds me to keep myself in check. to cherish what i have now.

dar is such a great boyfriend, i'll be hanged if i don't treasure him properly. i'm sorry for all the nonsense so far, i know i haven't been exactly a good girlfriend.

you just want me by your side. always.

i'll try my best, dar.

assignment deadlines are suffocating me =(

examinations are nearly a month away.

i'm fat. i'm developing a double chin. argh.

i haven't planned my graduation trip properly yet. shuyun, jacq and i have tentative plans for taiwan this july.

i'm tired and sleepy.

where're my cheesecake and caramel ice-blended?!


***

i love my brown kitty. [star meooow!]
and my diamond tiara.
and my brown rose haircut.
and my lollipop
and my pico hammer.
and my sky blue umbrella.
and my black tube. [though it's lvl50 -_-"]

chimpB and br1ghtst4r are extremely happy =D

magical characters are just so me.

i've always used magical characters in the mmorpgs that i play, so i thought i would try out a bowman instead in maple, but i guess i really like playing cleric much much more. <3<3<3 heal!



sorry i didn't blog-wish you happy 5th month, i was without internet access, then didn't want to blog on your laptop >_<" don't grouchy le, muacks!

bb loves dar so =)